the "devil." miranda priestly in a beaded bill bass jacket and silk dress.

ika nga ni tim yap: 'the devil wears rajo'

But the inside joke here is the office is that the "Devil wears Debenhams." Of course, that is a pun to the dramedy "The Devil Wears Prada," a film on how an idealistic assistant survived a dragon-like fashion-magazine editor.

Let's see. Anne Hathaway portrayed the lead character Andrea Sachs. My name is Andrea.

She works for Runway, which is obviously fictionalized Vogue. I work for the lifestyle arm of a publication.

She moved to New York to be a journalist and was hired right off after college. I haven't moved anywhere but I was a fresh grad when I got my job.

Andrea knew nothing about fashion prior to Runway and would rather write about More Important Things (ie. do serious journalism) rather than hemlines and lip plumpers. Well, I never knew the difference bet plum, periwinkle and purple till I started working.

A million girls would kill for her job. A hundred journalism grads might want my seat.

She worked for the "Devil." Do I? Gee. As the tagline says: "the dream job comes with the worst boss."

i love this dress! andrea sachs in a knee-length calvin klein olive jersey dress,
giuseppe zanotti pumps, kate spade handbag, and chanel sunglasses.

Even if you don't know the difference between Balenciaga and Valentino, Jimmy Choo and Jimmy Santos, the movie is a must-see. Even if you hate Meryl Streep, you have to watch this film if only to see Streep's brilliance.

"Prada" is the movie adaptation of the 2003 chick-lit novel by Lauren Weisberger. The book is loosely based on her short stint as assistant to Vogue editor in chief Anna Wintour—who is globally famed for being a perfectionist albeit very efficient slave-driver.

Streep is awesome as the omnipotent Miranda Priestly. I can't imagine anyone else who could assume the character as effectively as she did. From the poise to the pout, Streep is the "Devil." Watch out for her "why a belt is not just a belt" monologue.

finally, something i could wear. andy in a david rodriguez black boat-neck top,
miu miu white shirt, and chanel newsboy cap and charm necklace.

After baring her boobs on "Brokeback Mountain" to strip off her princess image, Hathaway plays another smart and down-to-earth protagonist as Andy. Not quite a princess but a cliché character again. And if she's not careful, she might slip back to royalty roles again and would have to bear her boobies once more.

mean and green. lewin’s kelly green overcoat with leopard collar and cuffs,
kate spade giraffe doctor’s satchel, giuseppe zanotti pumps, and chanel sunglasses.

Andy is academic and intelligent, something Miranda didn't often have in her realm of fashionable, malnourished, stiletto-clicking staff. Stupid and posh girls didn't impress her so she takes fashion-duh Andy as assistant.

Of course, there's always an ephipany. Midway through the film, tall and resourceful Andy undergoes a makeover and starts wearing designer clothes. She develops perfect hair matched with her harlequin eyes and wide smile, and she miraculously goes down a size smaller.

"princess diaries" ba itu? black wool chanel jacket, kristina ti
brown tweed miniskirt, and chanel black leather thigh-high boots.

Andy does everything from coordinating shoots to fetching coffee. And boy, how the hell does she manage to run all over the city in those heels?

As far as I know, magazine staff don't buy coffee for their editors, so don't take everything in the movie as gospel-truth. In fact, the people I know in fashion hardly wears flashy clothes and heavy kohl eyeliner at work.

papayag ka bang ganito kadungis ang boypren mo?

a rundown of glitches I just can't forgive. spoilers may apply:

 Miranda bullies Andy to get the "Harry Potter 7" manuscript for her twins, and Andy manages to get 'em. How would JK Rowling feel about that?

 Andy choses her unhygenic-looking chef boyfriend over Christian Thompson (Simon Baker)—an accomplised hottie of a writer who deliciously flirts with her and helps her pursue her journalistic dreams.

 For a chef, Nate (Adrian Grenier) is incredibly ungroomed. And hairy. He's a sissy who is no adequate prince for someone like Andy.

 Miranda, in an informal meeting, shows Andy her "human side." The Dragona is teary-eyed as she tells Andy that her marriage is breaking apart. Hello, my editor would never do that.

 Wearing stilletos—on thigh-high leather boots and pumps, at that—require training. Andy wears hideous "school shoes" when she's starting, but lo! After the makeover, she's trots in heels like a pro! And again, she goes down a size lower in a few days. (Oo na, bitter ako.)

 The ending. It was different from the book. It sported a Disney ending.

streep and "sex and the city" costume designer patricia field.

Overall, "Prada" is a film I'd watch twice in the cinema and would keep a DVD copy of. Streep's sterling performance deserves an award. Hathaway is ok although I could think of 10 more actors who can do the role. Director David Frankel and costume designer Patricia Field (both also did "Sex and City") made it very witty and lush.

And the clothes! "Prada" is a rich glamorous visual fest. Even if you end up hating the movie, girls would love the wardrobe and accessories.

I dunno how long I'd continue working with the "Devil" but I want to believe I've learned something from my job aside from who Vera Wang and Yohji Yamamoto are. But the important thing there, no matter how mundane this may sound, is I've learned.

miranda in a velvet valentino gown with andy
in a silk charmeuse john galliano number.

sina baklang_intsik and baklang_kulot

Minsan sa UST me dalawang bakla, pero babae sila pareho, nakagisnan lang ng mga kaibigan nilang tawagin silang "bakla" sa hindi malamang dahilan. Si baklang_kulot yung mas kikay sa dalawa, pero actually mas mabait talaga sha. Si baklang_intsik naman e 5'7 na payatot, samantalang 5'1 lang si Kulot na voluptuous. So mejo weird silang tignan magkasama. Pero friends sila.

Si Intsik yung tipong kalagitnaan pa lang ng first sem sa first year college, 16 or 17 anyos pa lang ito, e naglayas na papuntang Baguio (ano ba kaseng meron sa Baguio?) kasama ng boypren nitong pugi.

May kaya ang pamilya ni Instik. Ilang buwan shang nawala at umabot na pina-detective pa sila para lang makita. Kumunsulta na rin ang Mamá nito sa mga manghuhula para malaman ang kanyang whereabouts. Walang nakaalam kung nasan ang dalaga. In short, malinis shang trumabaho.

Liban sa kanilang kaalaman, sinasaktan si Intsik ng boypren nyang pugi sa Baguio kung san sila nagtrabaho bilang bell boy at waitress sa isang hotel (motel?), respectively.

Di na natiis ni Intsik ang pananakit kaya humingi na ito ng tulong sa isang "friend" na naka-casual sex nya dati ng high school sila. Ika niya: "Tulungan mo ko 'friend,' nasa Baguio ko. Pero wag mong sasabihin kay Mamá." Kilala kase si "friend" ng famiy ni baklang_intsik kase instik din ito. Parang mafia ba.

Masunurin naman si "friend." Hindi sha sinumbong sa Mamá nya. Bagkus, nagsumbong ito sa Papá ni Intsik. So na-save si baklang_instik from Baguio. At pagkatapos ng ilang buwan, pinag-debut nila ang black sheep na dalaga sa Intercon na parang walang nangyari. Sankapa?

Marami pang naging boys si Intsik although di naman talaga ito "drop-dead," ngunit matangkad nga at  payat. Marami sa issues nya nanggaling sa boys. Minsan pa nga, pumasok sha sa UST na me bandage sa wrist. Malamang naglaslas, pero di naman umamin.

Umalis sha ng Uste matapos ang Baguio incident at nag-aral muli sa isang coño school kung san naman sha natutong uminom, magyosi, mag-shabu at kung anik-anik pa. Pero di naman sha naging adik. Food tech ang kinuhang course ng lola at natapos naman nya sa awa ng Diyos kase two years lang un eh, hehe.

Pero si Intsik, masayahin shang tao, as in "good morning sunshine!" ang disposisyon nya sa buhay at isa shang perennial flirt. Lagi shang naka-smile at di mo mapapansin na marami shang alam at ginawang kalokohan dati. Lagi nga nyang sinasabi na mas mayumi shang tignan kesa kay Kulot maski maloko talaga sha.

Ngayon, di na close-close ang dalawang bakla dahil sobrang bihira silang magkita. Mga six years na siguro silang di nagkikita. Di rin sila madalas mag-chat, pero palagay ang loob nila sa isa't isa. Pero aminin mo, interesting ang story ni Instik di ba?

Si Intsik ay nagpakasal sa boypren nyang PT last year at may baby na silang mahilig kay Barney the last dinosaur. Ay, Denver pala un. I mean, kay Barney, the violet dinosaur. Nag-quit na shang magyosi at magbisyo, di na rin sha gumigimik tulad ng dati at loyal na sha sa husband nya.

Ang malupet, nagna-narsing sha ngayon at dean's lister sha! Dati, sobrang tamad nitong pumasok at laging late or absent.

Si baklang_kulot? Ayun. Ngayon pa lang sha naka-experience ng heartache at nagka-bf. Ni wala pa sa 1/20 ng experience ni Instik ung sa kanya. Late bloomer kase. Sabi nga ni Instik: "PhD na ko diyan, nursery ka pa lang."

Ang nakakatuwa kay Intsik, tuwing kakamustahin nya si Kulot sa YM, ang una nya laging tanong: "Musta laplayp?"

Feeling tuloy ni Kulot, parang "guru" na si Intsik pagdating sa mga lab matters. Kase olats talaga si Kulot diyan sa mga issue na yan, palibhasa, mababa EQ. So eto ang excerpt ng minsang pag-uusap ng dalawang bakla:

baklang_intsik: oy bakla, musta laplayp? :)
baklang_kulot: cool-off pa rin, one month hiningi nya eh. sa sept ko pa malalaman.
baklang_kulot: kaw musta? buti di ka nakasama sa batch na nag-take ng nursing ngayon.
baklang_intsik: di pa. 3 more sems to go. onga buti di sa batch ko nagyari yan. mag-aamok talaga ako sa PRC. :)
baklang_kulot: napaka-emo ko na. nakakaumay. gee.
baklang_intsik: correct :)) so NOT u.
baklang_intsik: magiging ok din kayo, maniwala ka sakin. may phD nako sa ganyang bagay. hehe.
baklang_kulot: ako nasa nursery pa lang ata, ikaw phD na.
baklang_intsik: salamat sa Diyos at sa lahat ng santo. dininig nila panalangin ko at nakasal na ko.
baklang_kulot: far out pa sakin yang marriage no. ngayon nga lang ako nagdadalaga. feeling ko 15 lang ako. charing. hehe. ano ba ung panalangin mo?
baklang_intsik: na makapag asawa ako ng tao! ;)
baklang_kulot: ng tao? bat binalak mo ba dati sa aso?
baklang_intsik: actually yung mga dati kasi mga chonggo!:))
baklang_kulot: nyahahaha :))
baklang_kulot: uy, pugi naman ung nambugbog sayo sa baguio, tangkad pa.
baklang_intsik: oo. pugi nga. puging chonggo!
baklang_kulot: sana lang di ka na topakin pang muli.
baklang_intsik: hehe, di na cguro. pag naiisip ko anak ko. tumitino toyo ko. parang anti-psychotic drug yung anak ko.
baklang_kulot: nice. sana di sha kasing topak mo hehe
baklang_intsik: ay hindi, lalake to eh. di tulad natin.
baklang_kulot: nyahahaha.

blown-off beer bubbles
(has totally nothing to do with L)

january 2006
some cafe in malate which ironically sells expensive beer
simmering with thoughts

i'm hating you more and more everytime i remember you because your memories hurt me more and more everytime i remember them and i badly hate you when thoughts of you, us, drive me to tears regardless of where i am because i still can't believe how anyone could hurt someone just like that and i can't believe how i allowed myself to be hurt just like that, and i hate you most because you led me on without even knowing it, i just hate you so much because you were NOT supposed to happen to me but you did and you have screwed up all the idealisms i used to have when it comes to relationships so now nothing seems to be enough for me because: "What if he's just like Him Who Hurt Me the Most?" but basically i hate you because you made me believe that you cared and i hate myself because this is ALL my fucking fault and as the Days of the New said: "i've created my own prison," and the fact that it still hurts hurts sooooo much and damn you for INSISTING that you loved me because if there was one person who fell it was me, just me, you just used me as a poor substitute and i let it happen.

i hate myself for letting it happen to me.

i hate myself for letting it happen to.

i hate myself for letting it happen.

i hate myself for letting it.

i hate myself for letting.

i hate myself for.

i hate myself.

i hate myself for loving you.

'away bakla'

"Is our population getting to be predominantly pansy? Must we allow homosexuality to march unobstructed until we are converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues? Let us be warned against the gay population... Be alert lest the Philippine flag be made of delicate lace and adorned with embroidered frills."—Isagani Cruz, "Don we now our gay apparel," Philippine Daily Inquirer, Aug. 12

This column by former Supreme Court Justice Isagani Cruz almost prompted a nationwide gay and lesbian general assembly. Basically to have his balls burned for being a "bigot."

Everyone—from Byranboy to Jessica Zafra—had a say on this matter. On the forefront against Cruz was Manolo Quezon III, Cruz's fellow columnist who's gay, who ran a defense in his own column.

Cruz concluded that "schools are now fertile ground for the gay invasion" after hearing a young gay dude scream “Aalis na ako. Magpapasuso pa ako!” one time he passed by the university belt.

Would he be more forgiving if it was me who said those words while flagging a cab on Pasong Tamo? Or would he just have wondered how much milk my breasts hold?

First off, I'm surprised that people actually read Isagani Cruz (not to be mistaken for the literary critic of the same name), or maybe it spread through the grapevine because he touched a very delicate issue: homosexuality, which, for the majority, has already evolved into a NON-ISSUE.

The newspaper didn't run a public apology even after scores of angry blog entries, e-mails and phone calls from homosexuals and straights alike. Even after people threatened to picket in the publication grounds, even after people swore to boycott the paper.

Worse, it published Cruz's reply to Quezon's column where he said: "Also disagreeable to me are straight persons who wear loud clothes, flunkies, hypocrites, humbugs and other unpleasant figures, male and female, in our imperfect society."

So Cruz is against EVERY ONE now?

Excuse me Mr. Has-been Justice, Manila Mayor Lito Atienza wears loud clothes, and so does Tessa Prieto, Kuya Germs, Mike Velarde, Kris Aquino, Lola Madonna, GROs, clowns! My friends! Me!

I swear, naghahanap na lang ng away 'tong matandang 'to.

An editor said maybe Cruz hired a publicist to jack up the number of his readers. He could always claim PRESS FREEDOM anyway.

Quezon replied again in another column and now the gay-bashing issue is fast becoming boring. Manolo, please stop, 'wag na patulan yan. The old dude is stuck in another timezone. Even Jovito Salonga was reportly aghast with what he wrote.

The best we could do is have Cruz gang-raped by seven big, oiled, meaty gay men. Ipa-gang rape na yan sa pitong bading. But then why bother? This old geezer seems not getting any for a looooong time anyway.

ramdom malas moments (rmm)

rmm #1:

Monday afternoon, 2 pm. Pagbaba ko ng FX, humahangos akong naglakad mula Kalayaan hanggang Mascardo, umuulan-ulan pa naman. I can't afford another tardiness memo and I'm glad my office has a 15-minute grace period for us perennial late-comers. "Takbo, bilis, takbo," ika nga ng Sago. Pasok ng office, lagay ng finger sa scanner. Toot. Time-in:  2:15:55. Sakto!

Humihingal akong umakyat sa third floor, (wala kameng elevator, we're jologs like that),  collapsed in my seat sabay inom ng tubig from my lovely cat-printed mug. Bottoms-down, dude.

Then I realized: "teka, Lunes ngayon. San galing yung tubig sa mug?"

Since day-off ko ng Sunday, malamang yun pa yung tubig na iniwan ko ng Saturday. At malamang nag-fumigate sila ng Linggo so I won't even imagine what's in the water I downed, baka ma-high nga lang ako sa pesticide. Ayus.

rmm #2:

I had my braces adjusted again Monday night, and it only meant one thing: pain.

There's something about toothache that makes people crazy. Alex was jumping because after a week-long battle, she can finally fit a spoon in her mouth. But if her antibiotics don't work, she might get her throat slashed to get the infection out of her tooth.

Boom has, what, FIVE TATTOOS? But won't go to a dentist for a root canal. Me, on the other hand, ended up drinking mouth wash.

My throat is sore for the longest time due to smoking (and not any other perverted reason you might come up with) and I have to take a special mouth wash. But every time I get my braces tightened—eating, brushing my teeth, and gargling becomes difficult.

So now, every morning, I end up swallowing my mouth wash instead of gargling it 'cause I can't control the pain from the braces.

rmm #3:

I could have been in a coverage in BORACAY but since the Gods from Up Above decided to transfer someone from our section to another, we're incredibly undermanned now.

We're undermanned so that means less out-of-town or out-of-country junkets, less opportunities to take leaves, less free time.

Less free time means more stress.

More stress means pota, magkakasiraan na lang kame ng ulo dito at kakailanganin na namin ng HAZARD PAY! Manood kayo ng "The Devil wears Debenhams," este, "Prada" pala ng maintindihan nyo kung pano maging "lipstick journalist" aka "writer of fluff." Maiintindihan nyo rin how the "Devil" works.

rmm #4:

A friend offered me two P4,000 VIP tickets to the INXS concert tonight but I can't go since I have work till 10 pm.

I'm not crazy about Mig Ayesa (na di ba, kamukha ni Pepe Smith?) or those rock-star searches. But it could have felt nice to watch a concert in the VIP lounge for free.

rmm #5

But over Mig Ayesa, you all know I'd always go for Lourd de Veyra, hehe (na pamangkin naman ni Mike Hanopol). Radioactive Sago did an experimental-jazz live scoring for the silent German horror classic "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari," this night at Greenbelt 1.

It should have been in SM Megamall but—probably realizing these arthouse stuff don't sell—it backed out to host the film fest in the last minute. Buti pa yung "Sukob" nipalabas nila.

Again, it could have been wonderful to hear Sago perform other songs aside from their standards but work restrained me to go.

rmm #6:

A co-worker gave me four "ROCKESTRA" tickets for Friday. Itchyworms, Urbandub, Up Dharma Down and The Dawn are merging their music with the Manila Symphony Orchestra (6cyclemind and Hale will also play but I'd probably use their sets as yosi breaks).

Ang catch, since undermanned nga kame, tatlo na lang kame sa group. And both of them are on leave that Friday 'cause they attended the same high school and it's their reunion. So I can't take a leave to watch it dahil mag-isa na lang akong matitira sa opisina.

***

Kung mamalasin ka nga naman. Yan siguro yung cliché na pag di para sayo, deadma na talaga. The good thing is I don't feel bad at all, considering na pessimist ako. Or maybe because someone said I'm pretty today (madali lang naman akong bolahin). Or maybe because I am feeling something AMAZING will come up soon. Maybe I'll wake up 20 pounds lighter tomorrow. Hah.

pardon the mess. but those shoes under the bed on the
background are my faves anyway: the red chucks, apple-green suede
boots, citrus stilletos, and partly hidden hot-pink crochet wedges

the i'm sorry baby project

It's our 6th "mantsari" today, Aug. 10, and I thought this is the best time to make bawi to L. So I came up with the I'm Sorry Baby Project which, I hope, would help show him how repentant this psycho kitten is.

We agreed not to talk or communicate in any way for a while, I did exactly that. But that didn't stop me from completing the Project which consists of having pizza delivered to his office; cooking one of his favorite meals; giving him an adorable kitten stuffed toy, his fave iced tea and the birthday scrapbook that you guys have participated in. I spent my entire Thursday off work running from place to place for this Project and I hope it would pay off by at least making L realize that I'm genuinely dead-set on being a good kitten.

Ika nga ni GMA: "I. Am. Sorry."

1. Let's start with the scrapbook. Actually, scrapnotebook.

Remember the Grand Birthday Project where I shamelessly solicitated greetings from everyone? I've lagged behind schedule so I've compiled the birthday yeheys a couple of weeks late.

But dude, scrapbooking is not an easy thing. I don't even make one for myself. Yung mga scrappable mementos ko from childhood—grade-school IDs, high-school diploma, Best in Religion awards (Catholic schoolgirl to, uy!), college class cards, and other whatnots—are just stashed somewhere in an envelope in my bookshelf. But L, being the L that he is, deserves one.

birthday yeheys from ryan, lourd, boom, hunny, shugabu, and arleen

I HANDWRITTEN all of your 59 greetings on a page per person, and designed 'em with stick-ons and scribbles each. Complete with pop-ups pa to, dude.

It has to be a black notebook, his favorite color, and there should be a Superman emblem. At kailangan talaga may "BI" sa cover, requirement yan.

After many sleepless night and rushed days sourcing materials, it was finally done. And what amazed me was everything fit unintentionally perfectly. I've managed to design each page according sa personality ng bumati. Example, Bittermummy had "diva" stickers on her page, Dindin's had a doggie, Tash's had shoes, Arvin's had a basketball. I felt like an 8-year-old cramming for an art project.

I whipped up a witty but heartfelt photo essay 'bout us on the last pages. Mejo nagkandaiyak lang naman ako dun. I hope he didn't think it was all bull, and I hope I didn't make him teary-eyed on that one.

Good thing Molly and Bear Bitch kept me company till I finished polishing it at 6 am. I started doing it in the office during downtime. Fran knew I was deadlined, and she helped me with the cut-outs, Alli volunteered her pens when I screamed I needed more colors.

The worst part was I had to finish it at home while SLOUCHING on the floor because (mahabang kwento) I still haven't fixed my room and it's a huge dumpster now because my laptop broke down and I had to install the PC again, so there's no more space for the study table even for the computer table. Heck, even this PC I'm using is temporarily ON my green floor.

2. And there's the pizza. Ganito lang naman kasarap yung Brooklyn Pizza.

After clearing it up with his officemates that food can be delivered on their floor, I rushed to Brooklyn in Makati and asked if I could pay for it in the shop but have it delivered somewhere else. The dude on the counter said: "surprise to ma'am?" I said yes. He gave me a kinky smile, I swear.

Pupungas-pungas pa ko non 'cause I just got a nap, and I'm NEVER a morning person, I'm not even a DAYTIME person. The least thing I needed this morning was to get sick, but I woke up with a fucking splitting headache and my throat and joints hurt big time. Care na, I was dead-set in having it delivered in time for his lunchbreak.

I got L two slices of White Pizza (generously topped with five kinds of cheeses) and two slices of Deluxe Pizza (complete with yummy slices of pepperoni and ham, bell pepper strips, halved olives and mushrooms, and all the works).

I would have gotten him a whole box kaso baka ikamatay naman nya yun.

Ang sarap ng Brooklyn, pramis! Nakaka-addict sha. It's the best pizza I've tasted. Taob ang CPK, Sbarro, Pizza Company, at yung mga standards ng Shakey's and Pizza Hut. They only have two branches, though: Pasong Tamo in Makati and BF Homes in Parañaque. Call 8969696 if you're in Makati for delivery. Pero kaklaruhin ko lang ha? Di ako PR ng Brooklyn,  matakaw lang talaga ko.

L and I always pass by Brooklyn when we watch gigs in Saguijo, but it's already closed during those times so he never tasted it yet. I hope he enjoyed it.

3. Presenting the Chunkee corned beef packed meal (has absolutely nothing to do with Kris Aquino)

Chunkee is my fave local corned beef and whenever he asked before kung ano ulam, I always replied with "Chunkee, bebe." He said he never tasted local corned beef. NEVER.

Naiskandalo 'ko.

So the first time he came over for dinner and I had to cook, I opted for a Chunkee menu. He used to make lambing and hug me from behind while I was cooking—which was distracting—but then he'd kiss me on the neck and shoulders (parang sa commercial ng chicken cubes). Ako yatang balak ulamin, charing.

The meal I gave him had sauteed Chunkee in caramelized onions with diced baby potatoes; an egg, he likes it a li'l runny, sunny-side up with just a dash of salt; and garlic fried rice. I threw in a bottle of his favorite iced tea, Nestea Ice Lemon Green Tea, to complete the meal.

There's an instant version of that Chunkee cornsilog at 7-11 pero no way, pinagluto ko pa rin. I still have no idea if he ate it, though.

4. I got him a very, very, very charming kitten stuffed toy which I almost kept for myself.

I wasn't able to take a pic of that baby, but it heavily reminded me of Gamhanan's cat, Lana, and it looked like this:

That one was tough. I scoured Rustan's and Landmark the other day but the only kitten stuffed toy they had were Garfield ones—which is not even a kitten.

I was frustrated. Ang dami-daming stuffed toy na aso in various breeds and sizes. May mga baboy pa. Sangkatutak and bear, may polar bear, panda, koala, teddy bears. May isda. May donkey. May dinosaur! May palaka! May kambing! PERO WALANG STUFFED TOY NA KUTING!

I ranted in the office about my failed seach and someone suggested to try out Toy Kingdom in SM Makati, I think it's one of the biggest branches.

So takbo ko kanina sa Toy Kingdom 'cause I have to hand in the package in less than 30 minutes. Pagdating ko sa entrance Toy Kingdom, tanong ako agad: "Miss, san ung mga stuffed toy na pusa?"

I faced shelves upon shelves of stuffed animals which had big lions, tigers, alligators, zebras, birds, even MORE bears and dogs in all shapes and sizes, pero ang sabi ni saleslady: "Ma'am eto lang, dalawang klase lang."

Pramis, mas marami pang variety yung mga pagong kesa dun sa pusa.

Thank goddess Bast, I managed to purchase an adorable pure-white siamese kitten toy with blue eyes and a pink nose. Bingo.

I lined up in the cashier and put it on the counter, staring at it like a 3-year-old girl na NAGLALAWAY sa laruan. Kung bat nagkataon pang naka-pigtails ako non at naka-fisherman's hat.

I must have looked really stupid that the saleslady behind me was prompted to say:
"Uhm, ma'am, ang cute, no?"
Sabi ko: "Oo nga eh. Wag ko na kayang ibigay to?"

Pero shempre binigay ko pa rin. He gave me Bear Bitch. At least he has something to hug at night. Wag lang sana shang hikain sa fur.

By 3:30 pm, I handed the package to L's office friend at sabi nya agad: "ang laki nito ah!" Yeah, I expected it be BIG and she had to carry it all the way to the 26th floor. Kinontrata ko na sha dati pa and I gave her a chocolate bundle as a bribe token, so I guess she didn't mind giving it to L.

So, are we back together now?

Sadly, I don't know. He texted me a "thank you" message, though, and said we'll TALK on Sunday. I greeted him a happy 6th month but he didn't reply.

I guess all I can do now is wait till Sunday. But until our pic is still on his Friendster account and his status is still "in a relationship," I guess I still have my baby. Oo, FRIENDSTER na ang nagpapatakbo at sumisira ng mundo.

I'm still trying to cheer myself up. Till he says we're over, we're technically together. And I gave him all those gifts because I was thinking this might be the LAST "mantsari" we'll have, which we didn't even celebrate together. And of course, I want to  make him feel special because I love him. This is the least I could do.

Sabi ko nga, if he dumps me, I have to make sure I'm the sweetest, most PASSIONATE girlfriend he ever had. At kahit na may matinding topak ako, di na rin sha mashadong lugi sakin. Nauumay na rin ako sa sweetness na to. I swear, di ako ganito dati.

 ***

Sorry if the pics above are of varying hues and brightness, just got my first digicam and I haven't figured it out yet. And the green background in the scrapnotebook and chocolate shots was the tank top I wore during the shoot. Yeah, I had to strip just to get those pics done, that's how much I love blogging about "L stuff."

post-bi birthday post

First, thank you to everyone who participated in my Grand Birthday Project for L. I was aiming for 20 messages but managed to bully 57 people in a few days to greet him—from our friends and families, stangers, online friends, blog friends to a rockshtar, blog stalkers and random stangers. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

Here are some favorites:

"Happy birthday kuya Lloyd, kuya pa ba? Di ba tito na dapat? (",) Happy birthday to you, wish you good health. 'Wag ka mag-smoke at kung may pera lang ako, ipapasok ko kayo ni Tita Bing sa Fitness First para pumayat kayo kahit konti. hehe. Tekken tayo minsan. (",) (,")"
→ from my nephew, Weiland

"Saan and wasakan?"
→ from my fantasy, Lourd de Veyra

Lloyd, you lucky bastard, happy birthday. Sana malakas pa rin ang semilya mo pag 60 ka na at marami pa rin ang sperm count mo. Uy kulot, wag mo pagurin baka may work pa yan the next day!
→ from an anonymous well-wisher

He found the last greeting cute.

Now let me gush. Girlfriend attitude ika nga ni Bittermother. The birthday party was fine. I asked my mum to make a tray of baked mac and we and his friends drove off to their place in Rizal albeit the heavy rains. Guess what, the village is called Amytiville.

I met his parents, his brothers, the rest of his friends, even his former college prof. They recieved me well, only problem was that I was the ONLY smoker in that crowd. That, and I couldn't carry a tune in the videoke. Eto yung mga moments na wish ko, ka-boses ko si Regine. Kase hello, wala kayang "I Will Survive" dun, napwersa tuloy akong kumanata ng "All by Myself."

It was fun although that I was so praning on being overdressed that I brought three pairs of clothes. Mashadong madami for an overnight stay, I know. Mga simple girls kase ung mga friends nya—the T-shirt and jeans type—and I'm constantly worried about what to wear when I'm with them.

Kase medyo may kimono lang naman ako closet. Dalawa, actually: isang reversible na satin, at isang chiffon. So nag-jeans and shirt na lang rin ako. Muntik na rin akong mag-apple green na boots kung di ako pinigilan ni L kase umuulan.

Masaya naman. Natulog kaming magkatabi, although we shared the room with his brothers. As in we hugged till morning kahit na lahat na yata ng tao nadaanan kame including his parents. I think we hugged in all positions possible: ako ung naka-spoon, sha ung naka-spoon, me on his arms, him on my chest (as in naka-unan sha sa boobs), naka-bear hug sakin, naka-bear hug ako sa kanya, naka-siksik sha, naka-siksik ako.

Paggising ko tuloy isa lang ang naisip ko. I asked him: "Bi, iniisip kaya ng parents mo if we are doing IT? Kase mashado tayong close." Malamang daw.

Anyway, back to the Grand Birthday Project. In total, I gave him these stuff during his birhday month:

 A tube of mint Chapstick. Hindi sha natuwa, natawa sha. Magiging kikay (kikoy?) kit daw ung clutch bag nya at nabo-Brokeback daw sha.
 A bar of Bench Papaya whitening and firming soap. It's good, promise. Men need exfoliation, too.
 The birthday greetings na na-surprise talaga sha 'cause he hardly reads this blog.
 A tray of pasta made by my mum, with ingredients that I handpicked the from the grocery. At yung barako ko pang pinsan ang naghiwa ng ibang ingredients, ung iba, ako.
 A soothing eucalyptus Swedish spa massage.

I was supposed to give him a jacket or bag but I was pressed for time. Then I heard him complain about a sore back kase we were both tired from the birthday bash. Bingo.

Bumabagyo ng umalis kame sa Rizal and we had to take the bus to Manila because the roads are flooded at di kaya ng sasakyan. He was about to take me home, but I asked him that we stop by the mall. I told him we're going to the spa.

Nakalimutan kong madali sha makiliti. So un, we both had a massage and an hour later, I swear, mas maganda na aura naming pareho. That was his first trip to the spa. And I think I'm making him a metrosexual with all those gifts.

The scrapbook hard-copy of the birthday greetings is yet to be finished, though. Maybe I'll save it for the next celebration. I'll just post the 'em as testimonials on his Friendster account for now.

Six months together makes this the longest official relationship I've had. He's not even my type, and I'm not his type; and we have contradicting lifesyles, interests and schedules. Amazing lang, kase I never thought I could make anyone that happy. Pero I guess he balances me off.

Si L kase ung tipong di ako niso-spoil mashado kase alam nyang brat na ko to start with. At sha lang rin ang walanghiyang nagsabi sakin face-flat na brat ako. He describes me as someone "extreme" and puts a lid on me. He might be the only person who can control me, control meaning pag bumabagyo at gusto kong mag-mall, aalis ako maski pigilan ako ng nanay ko. Pero pag sha nagsabi, medyo nakikinig naman ako although not necessarily na susundin ko sha. Or maybe disiplina ang tawag don. Kase gigisingin nya ko para di ako ma-late sa office (para walang memo) or sa badminton (para matagtag naman ako).

Sha rin ung tipong pipilin at ibibigay sakin lahat ng chorizo sa yang chow rice.

At di rin sha seloso, which I found weird. Mas mabait sha sakin, actually. At mahilig ako sa bad-boy types. Ung medyo rockstar na medyo madungis pero mabango pa rin. Nagkakatalo lang kame kase mashado kong mahilig lumabas at homebody sha. Lumalabas tuloy na high maintenance ako kase simple shang tao at buhok ko pa lang, medyo kumplikado na.

Alam ni L na may topak ako. Ang term nya is "nasa healing period" pa ko. At sha ung mas stable samin. So I guess, un na nga, he balances me off.

Enough na, this is too sappy. I promise to retract to my old cool self in the next post. Ayokong-ayoko pa naman ung mga blogs na puro kwentong boyfriend ang laman, gee.