'prinsesa'

Just who the fuck is the bastard who covered Teeth's "Prinsesa"? This is sacrilegious, profane, absurd, downright heretical! As in putangina, bakit naman nila ginawa yun?

I first heard it onboard a jeepney on the way to work, and I swear, gusto kong bumaba at mag-amok sa gitna ng Pasong Tirad. Gusto kong mangdamba ng tambay at manghamon ng suntukan. Kung ako si Glenn Jacinto, ipapabugbog ko talaga sila.

I later found out that it was pogi rock band  6cyclemind who did the remake. Why didn't they just cover another hit by Rivermaya or After Image? Or Introvoys! Matutuwa pa sa kanila si Jonathan Buencamino. Why Teeth, why "Prinsesa" of all '90s song?

Glenn Jacinto is one of my grade-school heroes. I didn't fall in love with any of the Eraserheads. I didn't claim to be Ely, Raimund or Buddy's 12-year-old wife (wala yatang fan si Marcus non). I didn't worship then Rivermaya frontman Bamboo (real name Francisco Mañalac ). I wasn't into Wolfgang's Basti Artadi when he still looked like Jesus.

It was very much into Glenn Jacinto from whom I found my makings to be a groupie. Him and Teeth's bassist Pedring (my ideal threesome then).

We all know Glenn can't sing,  but he's hot! I even called NU107 when I found out that he was sick with cancer to know if he's dying . He survived anyway. My favorite Teeth songs were "Me," "Tugtugan Na" "Shooting Star," and, of course, "Prinsesa."

Someone also did a lousy remake of Rivermaya's "Himala," which was just as absurd. I hope no one touches songs of Color It Red, Yano, POT, or The Youth. Baka naman pati ung "Longhair" ng one-hit-wonder na The Weedd patusin pa nila.

Why can't today's so-called musicians just MAKE their own songs not of the "Boom Tararat" kind? This cycle or remakes is just so fucking annoying. Fine, the indie artists make their own songs, but they DON"T sell. But Sandwich sells. Itchyworms, too. Nevermind Hale and Cueshe, mapapamura na naman ako.

Take Kamikaze, for instance. They were as NOISY and as hardcore as Greyhoundz, Slapshock and Cheese (now Queso), the next thing I know they were already singing the emo anthem "Narda." And  they're probably millionaires now. Selling out, apparently, sells. How sad.

It's a good thing that bands are back in the music scene like the boom in the '90s, I just hope they'd stop borrowing surefire hits from other artists and pass it off as their own.

quitting rice

In a futile attempt to fit nicely in a bikini, I quit eating rice. Cold turkey.

It's actually 100 times easier than quitting smoking. Maw just gave birth last month and weeks after delivery, she already stopped taking in rice to lose post-natal weight. I was, uhm, inspired and alarmed, 'caused when we were shopping, I still have a larger size than her! Maski kakapanganak lang nya. So naisip ko, pano pa kung ako yung nanganak? Ew.

It was all about vanity. I'm on my first rice-less week and I don't miss it a bit. Even if there was spicy adobo and sizzling sisig in front of me, I could eat it without rice. L and I went to an eat-all-you can dinner and I just ate a lot of fish. Even I found it weird that I didn't touch the crispy pata.

I still have carbs from bread and pasta, but definitely no rice. Rice is the enemy. Baket? Dahil naghahatak ang kanin ng ulam. The more you eat rice, the more you take in ulam. That one I got from Oprah when I ACCIDENTALLY watched her show. Small blessing from channel-surfing.

Oprah said the more you consume carbs, the more you want one. So if you have one cup of rice, the tendency is to have another serving on your next meal, especially if your favorite ulam is served. Carbs attract more carbs, and the more you eat, the more you want the next time.

How's it so far? I  have no idea if I already lost weight but I feel lighter and less sluggish—that, for me, is good enough. I am still not bikini-ready (heck, I'll be needing a lot of science for that), but I already found a maïllot in Marks and Spencer with a very, very, very low neckline. The lower, the better—it keeps the eyes off my other unsightly bulges and gives an illusion that I'm, ahem, sexy.

Almers spareribs (P50 na yata), matatagpuan sa Dapitan, sa likod ng Uste.

The only thing that would make me crave rice is a plate full of crispy lechon skin and  Almer's heavenly spareribs with bottomless gravy. That's it. The rest, keri na, maski kare-kare pa yan. I could pair it with veggies or bread or tofu na lang. I also stopped putting sugar on my coffee, and drink it with just a little dash of creamer.

I don't even know if this newfound diet is healthy. All I know is it's a great achievement for me to QUIT something. May fulfillment na involved. Naks.

fitting room police

Just finished two mall-wide fitting-room surveys—two down, a thousand more to go. I still have a hair-color and a makeover story to wrestle with over the weekend. And a two-hour-long interview with the Taxman to transcribe. When I put "Busy" on my YM status, I meant it.

(A funny bit: In the middle of all these, in the stark silence of our section where only keyboard taps can be heard, our well-loved editor Sir Lito suddenly sang aloud in a very giddy fashion: "Sugod, mga kapatid! Tayo ng magsamasama." And I was the only one who heard it, which made the only one who stupid 'cause I was laughing by myself).

I spent my dayoff yesterday in a posh Rockwell salon for a makeover. Not mine, but a hardcore boyish fitness instructor we transformed from a lip-gloss and baby-powder lady to a woman of glam, couture, and well, thousand-peso hair treatments. I hope she enjoyed it as much as I did. The only part I hate about it is waking up at 9 am.

Then off a Manila mall for the fitting-room survey. I was tasked to check out and rate the fitting rooms of major boutiques and boy, some of them were really nasty.

The nasty ones:

On this shop, the doors have tacky mini whiteboards with the following Pentel-pen messages: “No food and drinks allowed” and “Three garments only.” We were half-expecting to find a “BAWAL UMIHI DITO” vandal somewhere.

Another shop could have been comfortable—if you're  a HOBBIT. I wrote: "The only way to appreciate this 'E' branch is if you’re no more than four-foot tall. The rooms are unusually tiny that you will have a hard time stretching your arms to fit a top, and the lights are turned off unless someone is inside.

What do SM Manila department store and Marks and Spencer branches have in common? Their fitting-room doors are locked. "We love the six roomy cubicles with carpeted floors, multiple hooks, and spotless mirrors. We also like the attentive staff... But asking the M&S salesperson to open the door for us every time we want to try a garment on is a big turn-off.

The ones we love:

Penshoppe is a surprise—from the walls which remind us of a mixed-media piece to the very accommodating attendants. You could just stick your head out the door and ask them to get stuff for you while you’re inside. I tried this floral summer dress on and figured I needed a belt. Sumigaw lang ako from the door and the lady got me two belts. O diba?

What I liked best are two full-length mirrors which allow us to see how the clothes fit on all angles. The functional red stool completes the whole Penshoppe fitting-room experience.  The problem, though, is people hardly buy anything there.

Polo Jeans Co./Ralph Lauren is soooo bongga. The heavy curtain drapes, the marvelous lighting and the courteous staff remind us of being in a photography studio. They have a standee with hooks perfect for all your stuff, and a silver stool just in case you get tired. And I swear, the mirrors seem to make us look thinner. Now if only all of us can afford it.

The worst was SM Manila department store (the floor was wet and there was bubblegum on my cubicle wall)  but I have to cut them some slack because at that time they were on a three-day sale. Super daming tao. Even Rustan's Robinsons Place has lipstick stains on the wall, tsk.

On another kikay bit, I'm thinking of getting laser hair treatment (Mendez has a 70-percent off promo) and a Brazilian wax, probably at Piandre or Emphasis. If anyone has tried any of these, I could sure use your reviews or any suggested waxer.

scandals

I've seen some of these and I was not really amused. I'm no big fan of porn, I'd rather read erotica than watch people boink each other. I need more stimulation than what those perverted, repressed Hapons can provide. The first time I've seen one was during an all-girl pajama party in senior high school. And I haven't seen any smut then till I was what, 23?

It's something I can live without, like ice cream and chocolate.

But it's very different when the latest e-mail circular features someone you know.

Dude, sobrang iba kapag kakilala mo personally yung nasa scandal. You're no mere spectator as in the James-Kris hulabaloo. Somehow, you are involved because you know the person. It's like oh fuck, what  the hell was he thinking sticking his tongue on hers on video? And what if you've discovered that the lady was actually his girlfriend?

Poor couple. But who made it public? Did they have a fight or something? Does someone hate any of them that much to spread those nasty things? Why do they have those vids anyway? What if the girl's dad sees the clip where she gives the guy a head?

Makes me wonder how many other couples have private videos. Unless you are Paris Hilton or rehab regulars Britney and Lindsay, I don't think anyone can get away with it.

I remember a colleague who frequently buys DVDs (pirated, of course). He said in Quiapo, all cities are practically represented with scandlas. There's the "Manila Scandal," "Pasig Scandal," "Las Piñas" scandal, and so on. The universities and colleges have their own entries as well: "La Salle," "UST," "UP," "St. Scho Scandals."

He said, though, that most of these are not for real. Most are just amateur porn from other Asian countries which were just given such titles.

I don't have no scandals to speak of. I dated an underground porn writer before (the worst thing I did, ever) but I don't have any racy clips. L and I have a lot of "kiss" photos but that's pretty much it.

I hope this couple will be ok. And to those of you with videos featuring you in the most compromising situations, better be careful.

Speaking of Kris Aquino and James Yap, L and I watched their Korina Sanchez interview in my room two Sundays ago. And my god, there were no people or vehicles on the street! The only time that happened was during Pacquiao's recent fight.

During show-biz news, people from the office rush to the TV sets scattered around the newsroom to hear what she says—ultimo mga taga news at sports. We in the publication are used to artistas, we're not easily amazed by VJs or stars or athletes, but Kris never fails to make an impression on us. It may mostly be negative, but she is a hardcore newsmaker.

The only other person who put the office in the starstruck frenzy was Sharon Cuneta (too bad I wasn't able to have a photo with her). The rest of the celebrities, musicians and politicos were mostly ignored; and the most celebrated remains to be the classic divas. And boldstars, of course.

I told my seatmate: Mukhang proud pa si Hope that she slept with James Yap. Parang bragging rights. Baka next time may  'I fucked James Yap' shirt na sha.
Seatmate: I think it's true.
Me: Mukha namang good lay si James.
Seatmate, smiling: Oo nga.

I mean, what could be kinkier than doing the deed on your derma's clinic bed?