news dealer

If someone could just order for "news," our reporters would be very,very happy.

Reporter 1: Isa ngang positive Sunday.
Reporter 2: Isang SWS survey interpretation, tsaka In The Know na rin.
Reporter 3: Dalawang Camanava stories at isang Metrobriefs.
Reporter 4:  A full-feature fashion article, please.
Reporter 5: Tatlong banner with photos and captions, maga-advance kame eh. Pa-deliver na lang sa third floor.

Asteeg 'di ba?

samburn!
(more photos here)

"I just wanna be with a bitch, Samburn!"
—Samburn by Sannich (an inside joke, laughing is optional)

Surfing is the third most exciting I did in my life, next to caving in Sagada, next to falling in love.

I'm glad all of us managed to get a well-deserved break in La Union to celebrate two birthdays courtesy of Kat to whom we are now enslaved to for life. It was my second time to surf, and I did better this time. Only that while most surfers have their hands at shoulder-level, I have mine up in the air ala "Dreamgirls." I dunno how how the hell I get balance from up above, I just do. Maybe I am a "goofy" that way, or maybe it was a manifestation of my inner Beyoncé.

Everything was perfect—more rides, less wipeouts, less water and sand inside my ears, good food, great company, nice glowing tan—except for the jellyfish stings.

pardon the pata

These look worse and bgger in person, believe me. The instructor told me: "wala lang yan." So we continued with the surfing lessons. I told her later it hurt a lot, like my leg has been slashed with a knife then submerged in saltwater. I wasn't scared of drowning, or being hit with the board in the head, or being amputated with the board's fin. I was damn scared of 'em jellyfish.

Almost all us were stung. Din was even hit on the face (ouch!). A week after the jellyfish incidents, major itching took off from where the pain had left. As in nagigising ako ng madaling-araw sa SOBRANG kati. As in kating parang gusto mo na shang patakan ng kandila, and I was half-expecting to foam in the mouth because I can't scratch it in fear of scarring.  

we love you kat! nevermind the sunblock on my forehead

Apparently, all of us who got "jellyfished" ended up with the same problem: severe pain and itching. L asked if those jellies had rabies. I told him they don't, else, mauulol na lang kaming lahat sa opisina. Jun told me we might become seaweeds. Hmm, no thanks, but green isn't really my color.

Third beach trip for me and I'm toast. As Miko said: "Isang outing pa, chicharon ka na." My mom woke me up on Mother's Day and told me: "Anak ang itim mo naman!" And it was lights out, man. Meaning my tanlines are now probably glow-the-dark. And the sunburn! Oh the sunburn! It even hurts to wear a bra! The straps dig into my raw shoulders and back, and I was so tempted not to wear one for a week—but then I want to have world peace.

kuyog!

We also played futsal (some sort of sand soccer) which was loads of fun. I've always wanted to do violent sports to feed my bloodthirst. But I was so blinded with the urge to score because when I heard "KUYUGIN SILA!" I ended up clubbing the opponents AND my teammates. I was a Tazmanian Kitten. My futsal carrer was cut short when Jun accidentaly kicked my weak right ankle. Bummer. I miss my moments of violence.

Stings, sunburn, swollen ankle, and Ronnie Rickets "in-flight" movie aside, I am so thankful for that surfing weekend. It was awesome, and this is one the best summers I had in years.

a moment of silence for francis' cam he left in a cab

Let me leave you with the most memorable line from the all-star-cast (Rina Reyes anyone?) '90s Ronnie Rickett's movie we watched in the bus to La Union. Here's Ronnie as a cop clawing a GRO in a girlie bar in "Kahit Dalawa ang Buhay Mo, Pagsasabayin Ko"—or something:

GRO: Matagal ko na talagang pangarap maging kabit ng pulis.
Ronnie: Bakit naman yan ang pangarap mo?
GRO: Dahil ang pulis ay MATULIS.
Ronnie:  At ngayon napatunayan mong matulis nga.

We were so tempted to finish the flick, but that meant missing the stop and going to Vigan.

death by dessert

I committed suicide today, apparently, I didn't succeed.

This thing seduced me sooo well that I gave in, the next thing I know my blood pressure shot up to 140/100. That, for the record, is my all-time highest reading. I usually register low to normal, today I am high. Maybe this is how drugs feel like.

Death by Krispy Kreme, baby. And they are offering this Black Forest doughnut ("with rich raspberry filling, hand-dipped in creamy vanilla icing, sprinkled with premium chocolate curls and topped with a sweet cherry") as a Mother's Day special treat, so good luck mommies. As an officemate said, it is "diabetes in a box." If you're married and you wanna kill your mother in law, send a box to her with a note that says you'll feel bad if she shares 'em with anyone else.

We had a dozen of these in the section but my officemates got turon instead. Only us younger "kids" had the guts to consume such sugar. And I was the only one who finished it. It was so sweet I felt like chewing on coffee grains afterwards. The plain glazed one are still the best.

I spent a coverage last week gorging on steaks, but I'm not really crazy about beef unless it's grounded into a burger patty, so it was the dessert I enjoyed most. Outback's Choco Choco Chip is like Bubba Gump's Chocolate Cookie Sundae with less frills—no whipped cream, no caramel drizzles. Bubba Gump's has a very chewy, almost-brownie cookie, while Outback's has a nice, big cookie. Think giant Chips Ahoy. Both are good anyway.

I WAS not a dessert person. Dessert used to be a stick of cigarette until I became friends with dessert lovers, then I realized I'm missing out on something. Good thing I still don't have a fling with chocolates. That's one addiction I—and my BP—can't afford.

arico mambo, yeah!

L and I were having dinner at Jollibee Sunday and I was sooo gutom that the one-piece Chickenjoy and spaghetti meal wasn't enough. Actually kinagatan ko pa yung burger nya.

There was a 7-11 across the street and I volunteered to buy some cheezy chicken hotdog na naghatak ng Safari bars, Chippy and a big bag of Tortillos (I was hungry!). That Mabini branch happened to be in a row of girly joints, and so I entered the United Nations of 7-11 where fellow customers are hot hookers, a lanky Chinese dude, an old Jap guy with a minor, a Middle Eastern man who looks like Dick Israel, and a Briton with a voluptuous gay pal in tow.

Welcome to Manila, where everything can be found in a convenience store. Anong sinabi ng New York mo, Carrie Bradshaw?

I was browsing the shelves for Ritz cheese when the song popped: "Parapaparap, parapaparap... Arico mambo, arico mambo, yeah!" My childhood passed by in front of me and I wanted to break into a Maricel Soriano production number in between aisles in full Bollywood fashion.

Nahiya naman akong magsasasayaw don a la "Reality Bites" so nag-sway sway na lang ako ng patago. Baka ma-culture shock yung mga foreigners, masisira ang tourism natin.

My mum used to make me dance to that song together with "Shake Body Body Dancer" at a time I still had Little Miss Philippines fantasies and shoulders pads were the ultimate cool. And  I STILL know some of the steps to both songs.

I wasn't a Sharonian, and Vilma and Nora were too old for me. I was a Maricel fan. I used to religiously watch "John en Marsha" on RPN 9 because of Shirly. My mum and I have seen ALL of her films with Tito, Vic and Joey in the cinemas. Her "friend" even carried me on his shoulders in "Super Inday and the Magic Bibe" because it was an SRO (I later found out that he was her boyfriend, sankapa. Pero It's Complicated tm naman sila non ng dad ko).

I haven't met Maricel yet even if she dropped by the office last year, sniff. Buti pa si Sharon nachika ko na.

L asked me why it took me so long to buy the stuff, I told him I just HAD to finish the song. Buti na lang hindi pa nire-remake ng 6fuckingcyclemind yung "Arico Mambo," or else mag-aamok na talaga ko sa Pasong Tamo, I swear.

ang pagbabalik ng pulis pangkalawakan

(Disclaimer: Ok, na-iscoopan ako. Old news na pala ito. A certain Marky Cielo is playing "Shaider" on GMA 7)

My local channel TV time is limited to watching the news and "Eat Bulaga." Somehow I ended up watching Mareng Winnie's "Palaban" trying to get some education on who to vote for in the coming elections. But really, I needed to kill a lot of time waiting for the "American Idol" rerun. Then came a slew of commercials, and, at past 1 am...

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. OH. MY. GOD.

It came like a flash of lightning, like a spark from a wet plug, like a scream of a pusang naapakan sa buntot, like sharp smash on the badminton court, like a talsik from a juicy pimple that just popped, like a nasty caller at 3 am: An animated teaser with a very familiar mask on the background:

"Nagkakagulo na ang mundo"
"Umiiral na ang kasamaan"
"Kailangan na ng isang tagapagligtas"
"Darating na ang... "

"PULIS PANGKALAWAKAN"

"Malapit na..."

I hyperventilated, screamed hard and loud: Shittttttttt, SHAIDER!

I then texted my friends who cares as much about such '80s revival. Dindin responded the quickest and later told me the real "Alexis" is already dead. Tsugi na raw. Aw.

Can't wait to hear Maw's reaction tomorrow. "Shaider" and "Bio-Man" were the only stuff we agreed upon when we were little all we did was fight and pull each others hair. Did I tell you I used to chase her with a knife? I still remember it as the blunt one with porcelain yellow handle.

"Shaider" is a classic although I'm more "into" Mask Rider Black. He's hot. And we all know Annie Kita Panty eventually became a porn star—the short skirt was a dead giveaway. "Magmaman," "Ultraman" and the other spinoffs didn't quite appeal to me because I noticed how the supposed-to-be GIANT robots were really dudes in lousy metallic costumes and the rest of the background were just minitures—the trees were fake, the cars were plastic, the houses were cardboard. Mashadong mababa ang production value for my then young taste.

I hope GMA 7 would do "Shaider" justice (Geng, any news on this? Would it be like "Lupin"?). "Shaider" fans in the '80s probably have their own kids now and watching it with them would be quite nostalgic. This is one remake I wouldn't mind if properly done.

Tara na sa Embassy and let's do the Shigi-Shigi dance, partyphiles!

Speaking of revivals, I still can't believe how even "Upside Down," "Kisapmata," and "Truly Madly Deeply" are being stolen by uncreative artists who can't make their own hits. It's so fucking annoying. I'm not particularly attached to those songs but please, baka naman pati "Baboy" ng Sago patulan ng 6fuckingcyclemind and pass it off as a wedding song.

Eto ang napala ko sa pakikinig sa Love Radio BEYOND CHOICE on our four-hour ride to Laiya. Ika nga ni pare:

Pare 1: Pare, ang labnaw ng kape ko.
Pare 2: Isipin mo na lang, ISTARBAKS yan!

Muntik ko na talagang kausapin yung ingrown ko mehn, kaso baka sumagot. 'Wag na lang, sabaw.